Tonight, I put to rest my laziness. I will not always do everything I think I should do, for I will still have lazy days, but that is not the point. For most of my life, my laziness has been the expression of what I tried to deny that I am. It has been the voice of my fear, when both failure and success seemed too potent. It has been the mask of my complacency, using my true triumphs and abilities to keep me from growing to my full potential. It has held me back from finishing what I start, and often from starting what I intend. It has used my very real illness and subsequent health challenges and lack of physical energy as an excuse to stagnate in my spiritual, emotional, and intellectual path. I do not deny my laziness, or assume that by this obituary in its honor I can simply remove it from my life. I am not repressing or denying my laziness. Rather, I look at it and name it and accept it as part of me - but not the core of me. It is not my defining characteristic. Laziness is no longer the hidden master of my life, given strength by my refusal to name it and own it. As I move ahead to accomplish what I claim, I remember my laziness. Its power is a thing of the past.
A Blessed Samhain to you. May you find the strength and courage to lay to rest that which hold you back. Blessed Be.
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