Shielding

We do it too much, or we don't do it at all. Protecting yourself is one of the most basic techniques on a spiritual or magical path, and one of the most important. The more magical and/or participatory your path, the more important it is. So why, oh why, do so many people have a hard time hitting a stride with this one? As I've been walking my Witchy little path, I've noticed all kinds of ways that we just don't quite get it right.

Shielding or protecting is a matter of imagination and belief, also known as visualizing. Find an image that makes you feel safe. It can be a wall, or a net, or white light, or a golden glow, or ANY OTHER IMAGE that you see as protected and secure. Mine is a disco ball. Imagine it surrounding you. Know that absolutely nothing can get through that you don't want. Do this before meditating or working magic or attending a spiritual observance. Do it several times a day, just for practice. Advanced techniques include adjusting the size (sometimes you want it to extend out farther than just yourself) and the intensity (you should be able to take it from hermetically-sealed safe room to gauze curtain in almost no time). I know - complicated, right?

Everything that follows has been said to me or thought by me by: Me (obviously), friends, students, teachers, acquaintances, total strangers, and colleagues in one situation or another. (I've had more spiritual conversations at bars...) There are infinite variations on each theme. We all need to get over ourselves and these ideas.

"I just don't pick up on stuff like I used to," or "I wish I were more psychic - I never sense what other people seem to." The rest of the conversation usually reveals a few things. It tells me that you see your shield as exactly that - armor, or possibly a stone wall. Nothing wrong with that, in and of itself. You also probably see yourself as a warrior, doing battle with with evil, or darkness, or ickyness. Nothing wrong with that, either. You also tend to see yourself as always at war, or on duty, or under attack. Now there's a problem. Loosen up. Seriously. You may well be on the path of a spiritual warrior - you still need to be able to relax or loosen your protections sometimes. If you can't sense what's around you, you're operating blind. More importantly, you're cutting yourself off from the deeper levels of healing and love and important spiritual and/or psychic information. Worse - living like you're constantly under a barrage of craptastic negativity creates craptastic negativity. But since you created it, it's with you already, so a shield to keep everything else out doesn't help, but the shield is always up, so how did this get here, and maybe you suck at shielding now, so you shield harder, but there's crap... Yeah. You can't live with that kind of tension and fear all the time.

"I don't want to shut out my (friends, lover, spouse, children, etc.). Yes. You do. If you are at all receptive to the vibes other people send out, you need to have a little bit of a barrier. Do you really want to pick up every little pissy mood from your husband or wife? Do you need to be that totally invested in every argument your kids or grandkids have over the red marker? No. You need to pick up the big things - hot stove + toddler in kitchen. Or "extreme panic" (even if it was caused by her own shadow). Or "I put up with a lot of things for that guy I married, but this is too important/irritating/scary/exciting for me to compromise or back down." That whole intensity thing I mentioned? This is what it's for.

"I'm a healer (or empathic, or so sensitive). It's just who I am."  And if you don't get better at shielding, you're useless. Centering, which lets you remember who you are, is so much easier if you don't take every clump of shit that goes flying by you. Grounding, so you can stabilize yourself and replenish your energy, is almost impossible when you have soaked up the moods and problems of everyone who just drove by in their car. You will burn yourself out and have some kind of breakdown. And while you may not actually be an idiot, in ignoring basic self-protection, you are really acting like an idiot. I expect better of myself and of you.

"I can't." Bullshit. Pure, plain bullshit. You are either lazy or a perfectionist demanding too much of yourself. (Probably the second one. No - almost certainly the second one.) If you're one of the very few lazy people, stop reading about this stuff in a book and actually try it. For anyone actually reading this post, you are as strong and talented as you wish you could be. But you're not used to doing this, or you haven't in a really long time, but you expect immediate results the first time out. Stop. Breathe. Remind yourself that this takes practice. You aren't going to block out every bunch of whine-gasm that you picked up without serious commitment to your own self. You'll get a little bit of relief for a few seconds, and you might not even notice it. Then you'll start to feel guilty about cutting people off AND about not being more effective. Your shield will then collapse. I promise you, it did work. The more you center, ground, and shield yourself, the more you will notice the effects. I promise you that, too. Don't beat yourself up. Don't beat other people up, either. Just do the process several times a day. Do it every few minutes if you need to. Feel yourself grow.

Grounding

One of my favorite things about my Witchy little path is the fact that one part of my practice makes me sound like a lightning rod. Grounding refers to a few specific techniques used in two or three circumstances. In all cases, it serves to stabilize the person doing the grounding by emphasizing our connection to the earth, or helping us to focus on the material part of our existence. My best friend has been known to tell her five-year-old son to put his tail in the ground. (*exasperated sigh* "I already did, Mommy!") Eating something will do it, as will sitting on the ground (your floor counts). Heck, hug a tree. Play in the dirt. Wash some dishes.

What is this supposed to accomplish? Well, that depends on when and why you're doing it. Grounding, along with centering (from my very first post), is such a simple, basic thing that helps you remember who you are. It's a crucial part of my routine when preparing to meditate, or pray, or read Tarot cards, or celebrate a ritual. It's also something I do when I'm a little tired, or dealing with stress, or going into a crowded place. Honestly - centering, grounding, and shielding (its own topic) can benefit any one on any spiritual path - or no particular path. I'm referring here to the "tail in the ground" type of grounding: My energy connects me with the earth. I can draw what I need from the earth. I can give her my stress or sadness or whatever to be cleansed. I can celebrate my own part in the universe, and feel how I am one with every other part. Once I have centered and grounded, I am ready to reach out and experience the Divine. I, like all of you, am part of the Divine.

The "eat some chocolate while you hug a tree" grounding finishes off my ritual/meditation. It's very easy to want to leave your head in that fantastic space where you felt your gods touch you. It feels good there. We aren't meant to stay there constantly. We have lives, and families, and jobs, and obligations, and physical needs. If we don't bring ourselves back to the regular, physical world, we basically overdose. Some people get spacey. Some people get irritable. Some people get dangerously clumsy. Some people get headaches. Everyone who doesn't ground themselves in the physical world sometimes loses spiritual clarity. It's like your significant other or kids, who don't want to talk to you until you're on the damn phone. You can't hear either conversation because they're interfering with each other. So if I did a ritual to ask my Goddess for healing for a friend, didn't ground afterward for two days, and then did a guided meditation to connect with a spiritual guide, and then didn't ground afterward, etc. - my practice would be fuzzy and ineffectual and outright stressful. So I eat something. I wash dishes. Even using the bathroom pulls your focus completely into the here and now.

Touching God is an amazing thing. But in the end, if we can't find our gods in the world we live in, have we really found them?

Centering.

Would you believe I had nearly forgotten what my center feels like? I have been on my Witchy little path for 25 years. For the past three years, I have dealt with cancer and its treatment and the aftermath. While I have certainly been doing the work for my healing, it changed my picture of who I am much more than I thought it possibly could. I truly didn't realize how much until just a few minutes ago. I sat to meditate, centered, and felt something I haven't felt in... well, three years. I've meditated, and centered - but I didn't quite feel like me.

So what is it to center? I've had countless discussions with very wise people from many spiritual paths. I've read book after book after book - and the best verbalization came from a fantasy novel by Mercedes Lackey. (I want to say Arrow's Flight. In fact, I'm 98% positive that's the book.) She referred to "the shape within your skin". By this she meant the feeling a person gets by being him or herself, as hard as possible. Paradoxically, you are yourself the most when you're trying the least - when you are simply totally involved in what is going on within you and without you. (Which was the title of a Beatles song, wasn't it?) When what you are doing or feeling gives that moment of being completely comfortable with being you; when you know that it is just so right that you ARE at that moment - you are at your center.

So, why center? On the surface, it gives us a chance to collect ourselves - to gather our feelings and thoughts and sensations and align them with each other, to focus on what comes next. Below that, it allows us to know what is ours - as opposed to what we have taken on from other people. We all take on so much - other people's problems and hopes and emotions and opinions. It's easy to become overwhelmed, to lose track of what we each feel. I need to know what I know within myself before I can offer healing to someone else. Or teaching. Or love.

We start from our center. Whether we are looking for God (by whatever number and name), or looking for self-actualization, or healing the planet, or deciding who to vote for, or hoping for the perfect mate - we start with ourselves. Centering is the first step to to recovering who I am.